A Leap of Faith Read online

  Of course no one knew that I was the subject in question. I read tweets, blogs and online comments with many offers to help him forget this “unworthy whore” and take up with someone who would appreciate him, some even thanking him for putting into words what they were going through in their own relationships. Mostly they just “loved him” - I couldn’t argue, he was simply amazing and I loved him too.

  The crowd erupted as Dave gave his opening monologue. The stage where the band was poised in position, waiting patiently, was dark. My eyes were glued to Alex, he silently checked the tuning on his guitar, his head down and unaware of my staring. His perfect body was clad in black jeans and a white short-sleeved shirt, unbuttoned to mid-chest. His dog tags caught the light as he moved, reflecting his breathtaking face. The little stubble that played on his jawline made him even more alluring. I saw a wicked grin spread across his face as he became aware that I was watching him. A thrill shot through me as his astounding blue eyes caught my gaze and he tipped me a quick wink. I blew him a kiss, giving him my own cheeky grin.

  Dave introduced the band to a deafening reception from the audience. As the lights lit up the stage, James raised his hand above head signalling to the band as they exploded into one of their more upbeat songs. I laughed a little as I watched James dance and shake his ass all over the stage. The girls in the front row were working themselves into a state of hysteria. Dan was working his side of the stage, giving the crowd a “show” as he got closer to them. He allowed and even encouraged their hands to graze his body and his bass. His smile clearly showed his satisfaction. Troy was, as always, having the time of his life. Behind his monstrous kit, he hit and smashed his way through the song, wowing the crowd with aerial stick displays, sending one drum stick flying into the air then catching it mid beat. Jason laughed enthusiastically at Troy’s showing off or “Visuals” as Troy called them. Of course Alex was his usual cool and compelling self, his hypnotic eyes engaging the crowd. The agile movement of his hands along the fret-board was both strangely erotic and seductive. His calm, almost detached demeanour was doing nothing to settle the frenzied girls vying for his attention. A slow half grin twisted across his lips as he watched the craziness unfold in front of him.

  All too soon the song was over and Dave invited James and Alex over to his desk for a chat. The crowd was still hollering and wolf whistling as the two men strode purposely to the centre of the studio. Dave welcomed them by shaking each of their hands before his trademark whisper into James’ ear. James nodded and smiled enthusiastically. (I had always wondered what he whispered to guests, I was going to have to ask James later.)

  “WOW! I see you boys all brought your families here! Is there anyone here who isn’t a Power Station fan?” Dave quipped as the crowd slowly calmed.

  James and Alex both laughed as they settled into their seats, James taking the opportunity to respond.

  “What can I say, it’s New York City Dave! Our home town has always been good to us.” He paused, turning to address the crowd “We love you guys and we appreciate each one of you!”

  The crowd burst into applause - hooting and hollering at the excitement at being personally addressed.

  “What you say Paul?” Dave turned to his loyal sidekick and music director Paul Shaffer, “You think you and I give this band thing a try? I have no musical talent but that didn’t seem to hinder Paris Hilton getting a record deal.”

  The crowd enjoyed Dave’s usual sarcastic banter as James and Alex looked on, happy and relaxed. Paul shot back with some of his own witty repartee.

  “So this album shows a bit of a more serious side. Was that a conscious effort, or did it just turn out that way?” Dave inquired as he commenced the formal part of the interview.

  Once again James took the lead as Alex, sat beside him content, nodding in agreement.

  “Well, we aren’t the same kids anymore. A year can really change a person and we’ve gone through a lot both individually and as a band so it’s only natural that it would be reflected in our writing.”

  I smiled at James’ intelligent and well thought out response. A year really can change a person, I thought. It hadn’t even been a year since I’d been with Power Station and my life had already changed dramatically.

  “I think it illustrates that we are just regular guys” Alex interjected. “We still have relationship issues, we still have nasty break ups, we still have grief or days were you feel depressed or lonely. I think it’s important that our fans see that we are more than just guys up there.” Alex gestured to where they had been playing, “Every song on this album has earned its place and I know I speak for the whole band when I say that it’s probably some of our best material.”

  “Well judging by the reception you got here I would say it’s been well received. You touched on this a little bit before but it in the past 6 months there has been some monumental changes in your lives. James, there was that accident in Australia that involved your brother Mike and of course there was the passing of your father Alex, which can’t help but change you. And most recently there is the news that you, James, are going to be a Dad.” There was scattered applause from the crowd. “As song writers, is it times like this that you get most of your inspiration?” Dave’s sombre mood surprised me.

  Alex glanced over at James as he shifted in his chair, taking the opportunity to answer first “Well I know for me, losing my Father had a very profound affect. It put into perspective what was important and who was important. You just had to look around at the people who loved him to know he was a great man, something I aspire to be. That then spilled into my writing.”

  I stood shocked at Alex’s out of character candour. He didn’t downright hate interviews but he was more than happy to let James take the reins and was usually tight lipped when it came to personal issues. This shift in his approach caught me by surprise. I could see that his response had a similar affect on the crowd as someone screamed out “I love you Alex.” He didn’t even pause before he turned to the crowd, a flirty smile played on his lips as he responded “Thanks Mom” instantly lightening the mood and inciting laughter to trickle through the crowd.

  James took a moment to compose himself before he took his turn. “Yeah as much as it sucks, it’s easier to write from a darker place, so it’s natural that stuff that happened shaped the songs. I agree in that this is some of our best material. For me learning I was going to be a Dad pretty much blew my mind, but with it you are forced to look at who you are, cause it’s not just about you anymore. The last thing I want is for my son or daughter to look at me when they grow up and think my biggest accomplishment was having great hair.”

  Alex turned to his “brother”, a sexy smile curling his lips “You do have great hair, Man.”

  James laughed as he faced Alex “Thanks Man, yours isn’t too bad either!”

  Dave joined in “Ha! You two are lucky! I have to compete with Paul’s hair!”

  His bald-headed music director smiled as the camera panned over to him, the audience responding with laughter and applause.

  “So do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?” Dave asked James as the crowd once again quieted.

  “No, Hannah and I decided there are so few surprises these days that we’d wait until the birth.” James smiled. I knew this had been more Hannah’s decision than his, but he wasn’t willing to make an issue of it even though he was desperate to know.

  Dave turned his attention to Alex before asking; “So Alex, what about you? Any plans to settle down?”

  I held my breath as I waited for his answer. OH MY GOD, what was he going to say? We hadn’t gone through this in the preparation for the show. It’s not something I thought he would be asked. Shit!!! I crossed my arms tightly against my chest as I watched a playful grin twitch at the outer corners of his mouth. It was at that moment I realized that I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say. Did he deny he was in a relationship, give his “fans” false hope that they still had a chance? Or did he
admit he was with someone and possibly cause further headache for me while I fielded even more of the “who is she??” calls. Either way it was too late now, the question seemed to hang in the air forever before he finally answered.

  “Well Dave, there has been a lot of speculation on my relationship status and at the risk of jeopardizing my place on People’s Sexiest Man Alive poll, I have to admit that I am very much in love with an amazing and talented woman.”

  I heard the surprised gasps from the audience, or perhaps it was only my own that echoed around the side stage area as all the blood drained from my head. I felt hot and dizzy as a stagehand grabbed me suddenly, asking, “Hey are you ok Miss? You are swaying.”

  “Yeah I’m fine.” I brushed away his concern, slightly embarrassed by the attention I had drawn. FUCK!!!! There was no hiding now. Every time Alex stepped out there would be a horde of photographer’s waiting to catch him and his “mystery woman”. We had been so careful in the past, the only people who knew of our relationship were our very closest friends, hell I hadn’t even told my parents (not that it would concern them either way).

  I steadied myself before I looked back over at him as his eyes locked on mine, spelling out what I already knew; he was done with hiding. He had told me once before that he hated keeping our relationship a secret and I guess he had decided that one way or another it wasn’t going to be a secret any more. I didn’t know if I was angry or happy. Part of me was so elated that he felt that way and he was happy to share it with the world and the other part of me felt like it was somehow the beginning of the end.

  I glanced down at my phone that had started vibrating relentlessly. Yup, so it begins. Every news rag worth its salt was calling to try and get a name. Dave took the opportunity to press Alex further, “So anyone we know?”

  Alex giving Dave a cheeky wink, “Well I know her...but she is a pretty private person” he smiled. If James was shocked by Alex’s revelation, he wasn’t showing any signs of it. He sat beside his friend composed and relaxed.

  My mind raced as Dave wrapped up the interview with some loaded barbs about being in a relationship as they went out to an ad break. My pulse was out of control as Alex sauntered over to my side of the stage; make up stopping him half way to “touch him” up.

  “Did you lose your fucking mind?” I seethed as he approached me, his smile not slipping from his mouth.

  “Not the reaction I was hoping for, but uncertainty is part of the fun,” he teased.

  “Did you think you might want to have cleared this with me? What the fuck Alex?!” I stormed struggling to keep my voice down, people milled around us as they counted the moments before going back live.

  “Are you pissed as my publicist or as my girlfriend?” He eyed me curiously, clearly enjoying my struggle with restraint.

  “Both! I thought we’d agreed! You can’t just decide something like that without first at least consulting me,” I jeered through my clenched teeth. “You know that it’s only a matter of time before they work it out right? You know they are going to hound us until they get something to raise the sales of their worthless rags.”

  “Lexi, I told you I loved you and I meant it. I’m done hiding. I’m sorry. I know if I talked to you about this you would fight me, but you know it goes both ways too. I am sick of being your dirty little secret. I am done sneaking around. They will find out we are together and then it will be over, they will move on to the next victim. Trust me, next week some Hollywood teenager will flash her crotch or some member of a boy band will cut their hair and we will be old news.” He discreetly squeezed my hand, knowing we were being watched by the people milling around us. “Lexi, I want to be with you. I’m not going to pretend that I’m not in a relationship with you. Besides, it will be harder for you to break up with me now,” his playful grin returned.

  “You are a real Asshole.” I smiled as his words of reason slowly began to seep in. Deep down I knew he was right, the more we prolonged it, the harder they would dig. Maybe it was best just to get it over with.

  “Yes but I’m your Asshole,” he teased before a stagehand ushered him back to his guitar and the band. The break was over and it was time for their second song. Ughhhhhh I hated it when he was right!

  I also hated that there seemed to be a fine line between anger and lust when it came to Alex and me. It was difficult to determine whether I was pissed off or turned on, though usually it was the latter. He was so breathtakingly sexy I couldn’t help myself... or at least that was my excuse. I shook my head as I watched his usual seductive display, he had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand.

  I walked back to the green room to watch the rest of the show in a more comfortable setting. My phone did not relent. I eventually just shut it off. It would have to wait until tomorrow.

  Someone brought me what looked to be a refreshing Gin and Tonic with lime but I was disappointed when I brought it to my lips that it was merely sparkling mineral water. Damn it, I could have used a hard drink! I would certainly be partaking in an adult beverage or two after the show.

  The band had closed the show with one of their earliest hits, the crowd jumping from their seats to enjoy Power Station’s last performance for the night. As the closing credits rolled, I walked back to the band’s dressing room to wait.

  Security stood in front of the door that displayed a gold star marked with their name. He stepped aside once I showed him my laminated accreditation and I sat down on one of the provided sofas.

  Troy and Jason were the first to bound into the room. “Hey Lexi” waved Troy as he peeled off his damp shirt, exposing his muscular chest.

  Dan was next through the door as his eyes locked on mine. “Sexy Lexi,” he purred, “You know I’m happy to play the decoy if you wanna throw the press off the scent.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively at me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  “Dan, you are joking right? They’d sooner believe Alex was dating you than you were dating Lexi,” laughed Troy as he continued to undress, stripping off his jeans.

  I smiled as I watched Troy walk around, naked except for a pair of thin boxer shorts and grabbed a cold Iced Tea. He really had no inhibitions.

  Alex and James entered, James wincing cautiously when he saw me waiting on the sofa. “Oh hey Lex... for the record I didn’t know, ok?”

  “It’s fine James.” I crossed the floor towards him and gave him a hug. “I’m not happy about it but it will be fine.”

  Relief washed across his face as he realised that there wasn’t going to be an explosive confrontation in the change rooms of the Ed Sullivan Theatre.

  Alex moved in beside me and grabbed me, pulling me in for a passionate kiss.

  “I’m still mad at you,” I breathed as I pulled my lips from his.

  “Good, I was counting on it,” he smirked as hand slid suggestively down my back to rest on the base of my spine.

  “Get a room you two!” Piped Troy, as he dried off with a towel.

  “Says the man wearing no pants,” mused Alex.

  Troy tossed his used towel at us. “How many times do I have to tell you?! It gets hot behind the kit!” Troy qualified, his grin indicating his lack of annoyance.

  “Well I’ll let you guys freshen up. I’ll be out in the hall.” I smirked as I strode to the door.

  While patiently waiting out in the hallway I fished out my iPad from my bag, deciding to check my emails. As I suspected, my inbox was inundated with requests from news agencies. Some even suggesting names for who it might be. I cringed inwardly at the level of interest Alex’s love life seemed to attract.

  “Hi are you Power Station’s assistant?” asked a tall, thin, attractive brunette.

  “No, I’m no one’s assistant!” I bristled, my distaste carried in my tone.

  “Oh sorry, I just saw you there, looking all official and all” she flipped her hair slowly off her shoulder. “So do you know them?” she asked, not reading my lack of attention as a lack of interest.
/>   “Yes, I do. Was there something you needed?” I responded curtly. I wasn’t sure where this was going but either way I was annoyed.

  “Well... actually...” she paused as she slowly licked her lips. “I was watching the show on the monitors, I was hoping to meet James and Alex.”

  “Sorry, they have a busy schedule today. There is no meet and greet. Maybe next time,” I slurred sarcastically.

  “I’m sure if I can get in there I can convince them to spend a few minutes with me,” she crooned. “I can be very persuasive.” Her eyes twinkled as she batted her eyelashes.

  Are you kidding me? It seems no backstage area is safe. In a nuclear disaster I’m sure the only surviving species would be cockroaches and groupies - both of which I had an extreme distaste for.

  “Firstly, I don’t know how you got back here or why you would think I would help you.” I paused as I locked her in one of my death stares. “Secondly, James is happily married with a baby on the way and Alex made it quiet clear he is also unavailable. Do you have no self respect?”

  “Gee lady, no need to be a complete BITCH! Fine James is married and Alex has been dating someone for like 5 minutes. Who cares? He’ll move on, like he always does.” She smarted back, clearly unperturbed by the fact the objects of her desire were in relationships.

  As if on cue, Alex opened the door. He had changed his clothes into casual blue jeans and a black t-shirt. With his hair slicked back he looked down right delicious as he pulled his leather jacket on.

  “Lexi?” He questioned cautiously as he stepped into the hall.

  “Hey Alex, car is waiting outside.” I smiled sweetly not wanting Alex to see my annoyance.

  “Hi, I’m Kelly” the attractive brunette, seductively eyed him.

  “Hello Kelly.” He politely shook her hand, unconcerned by her obvious flirtation as her lips parted slightly and her pupils dilated as she glanced up at him.

  I rolled my eyes at her response. Like it or not, it was the usual reaction to meeting Alex for the first time. Regardless of his relationship status, this was not going to change.